I’ve been an artist since before i was born. my first work was a performance. i elected to stay in my mother’s womb one month after i was supposed to be born, that way i would be born a one-month-old bouncing baby boy. and for extra effect, to make my entry even more dramatic, i came out ass first. instead of slapping my ass the doctor slapped my mother’s face because she was hysterical. my mother has tortured me ever since. because i brought this upon myself, i am a saint.
When i was a little girl, so many people told me i looked just like shirley temple, i believed her to be my twin sister that ran away from home and became a big movie star. i think this was the beginning of my direction
Ya must be sum kind of bleedin' alien or summit" - is how a double glazing salesman sized me up when i lived in England
I bought a nice house in the dusty heart of nowhere New Mexico that has a spare room for artists that desire a space away from the modern conveniences of the city where they can sit on the porch and listen to the canine cacophony of wolves, coyotes, and dogs while watching the sun set behind piñon and juniper; have access to light and airy studio space; and enjoy the local tourist attractions. Brochure soon to follow...
And i entered a children’s art show when i was five years old with a three-dimensional submission. three birds made from modeling clay resting on a stick of driftwood. titled ‘three birds on a log,' i won a first place ribbon and sold my piece for a dollar. i asked the buyer to pay me in one hundred shiny new pennies.
my self summary:
A long time ago I had a bumper sticker from Oklahoma that said, "i'm a doper, not a roper!" because i switched up the 'd' and 'r'. my father made me remove it for my mother's sake but i knew he wasn't cross with me because i found a lid in his coat pocket. a few years later i had a bumper sticker that said "rats for Reagan" because i cut off the 'Democ.' that's my summary in bumper stickers.